Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Randomize
