And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
