As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
