I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Who did Billy Mays play for?
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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