it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
