I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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