Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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