"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Randomize
