WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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