We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
