just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
