And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
