Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
