No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
