That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
