i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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