Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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