and you said cock pushups were impossible
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
he quoted the bible to break up with me
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
