i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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