Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
