She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
He has the fingertips of a God
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