I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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