just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
