Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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