That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
