Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
