He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Randomize
