i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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