She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
