New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
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