So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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