i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Randomize
