Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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