she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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