in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
