i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
there is glitter all over my balls
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
