Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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