I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
