You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I don't deserve a penis
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
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