Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
