you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
