I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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