I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Pants are for mortals
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
