My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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