I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize