This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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