okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Randomize
