sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
