help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I want to make a zoo with you.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
