these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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