No awkward lesbian experiences without me
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
